Cereal Review: Dino S'mores Pebbles

I've always enjoyed Fruity Pebbles, and I think of all its competitors, Cocoa Pebbles does the best job of making your milk chocolatey. So as a fan of the Pebbles cereals, I was expecting good things from Dino's latest extension of the brand. After all, there hasn't really been a good s'mores flavored cereal on the market since General Mills introduced (and subsequently discontinued) S'mores Grahams in the late 90's. In 2003, Kellog's seized the opportunity to fill in this gap with Smorz, which is still available today. But aside from its name, Smorz shares little in common with its namesake. Sure, it has marshmallows, but its chocolate/graham flavored "puffs" are hardly an acceptable substitute for actual s'mores. S'mores Grahams, on the other hand, were the real deal: graham cracker cereal pieces covered in gooey chocolate and tiny marshmallows. Only Kellogg's Eggo Cereal comes as close to tasting like its real life counterpart.

So does Dino S'mores Pebbles deliver an authentic s'mores breakfast experience? Not even close. The box advertises "marshmallowy boulders", "graham bone shapes", and "crunchy chocolatey nuggets". These gimmicky pieces are much smaller than they look on the box, and the nugget-to-marshmallow ratio shown is extremely deceptive. This cereal is overwhelmingly made up of the "nuggets," which are far less chocolatey than Cocoa Pebbles. For that matter, they don't even look like Pebbles! What gives? The "bone shapes" are negligible; they're too few and far between to matter, not to mention they taste more like dog treats than graham crackers. With so many excellent marshmallow-based cereals out there, you'd think they'd at least get that part right, right? Wrong. Marshmallows are supposed to be soft. These little fuckers nearly made me chip a tooth. It doesn't help that everything else turns to mush after 5 seconds in milk. I'm almost pissed at my mom for buying this for me. Dino should be ashamed of himself. I give this shit NO SPOONS!

Edit: I just realized I entirely missed that Dino S'mores rhymes with dinosaurs, but only if you mispronounce Dino's name. Fail.